


The Color of Love

by Strawberi_beri



Category: NCT (Band), WayV (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Getting Together, How is that not a tag, M/M, Minor Angst, Romance, Soulmates, but that's ok, henderys dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:07:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27234733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strawberi_beri/pseuds/Strawberi_beri
Summary: “So, let me get this straight,” Ten says slowly as he sets down his food, “you found your soulmate today and I had to sit through a boring lecture. The universe truly has it out for beautiful people.”Hendery groans and lands his head on the table with a solid ‘thunk’. “Yeah, but then I lost them.”-A story in which Hendery, newly discovering colors after seeing his soulmate, thinks pink is his favourite. Ten has a half-baked plan on helping, and Xiao Dejun is an angel who may or may not be the one. Between confusion and heartbreak, there's a small love story.
Relationships: Wong Kun Hang | Hendery/Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun
Comments: 5
Kudos: 115





	The Color of Love

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been re-written 5 times in a span of two and a half months. Tbh I'm not fully satisfied and the plot has changed so much that I might revisit my earlier ideas, but for now I wanted to just put this out. I love the idea of soulmate AUs but this one has a minor twist (if it can even be called that, probably not). I hope you readers like it though! Sorry if it seems kind of rushed near the end or in general, but I just don't want to work on it anymore ;A;

When  Hendery was born he was born with a rare soulmate marker. He could only see the world in black in white—called  achromatopsia —and it would disappear once he saw his soulmate. Apparently,  Hendery’s father was the one to pass it on to him while his mother had an even rarer soulmate marker; the red string of fate.  Hendery doesn’t think much about ever seeing in color though because he’s lived his whole life in black-and-white. It’s  kinda cool ‘like an old movie’ he’d always argue with his group of friends whenever they were feeling especially pitiful that  Hendery didn’t know how the sky looked. Or how funny  Yangyang’s face turns whenever he blushes a firetruck red. Sometimes, during lonely moments on an empty couch,  Hendery wonders when he’ll finally meet his soulmate.

It’s been a long, almost twenty years, and he starts to wonder. Maybe his soulmate is in a different country? Maybe they already met someone and didn’t wait. Maybe  Hendery just wasn’t meant to see in  colours . For the umpteenth time during his professor's lecture,  Hendery has to shake his head to physically fight off any sad thoughts. 

Who cares if he hasn’t met his soulmate yet! None of his friends had met theirs—in fact a study (that he was not looking at to put off doing his paper for history no  siree ) shows that most people find their soulmates during their mid-to-late-thirties now! So he has, like, a solid fifteen years before he  _ really  _ has to star worrying about finding mister/or misses right. It’s not that  Hendery obsesses over his possible soulmate, but damn can’t God throw him a bone or something?

Gathering his books and lazily written lecture notes,  Hendery starts to make his way out of the lecture hall. Everyone is chaotically trying to shove their way out and there could be a more efficient way but everyone looks half-dead—including  Hendery . When he finally breaks free from the pack, he takes a moment to lean against the wall and looks out the window to the courtyard below.

“Heh, those poor suckers,” he mumbles as he pretends to squish all the new looking faces between his thumb and index. Just then, a couple of things happen. A student is running down the hallway, footsteps heavy, and  Hendery is about to turn towards the noise but a pointy shoulder slams into him. His eyes shut briefly before flittering back open and he’s staring out the window. Except that it’s not in all shades of gray, he can distinctly see every shade of the rainbow probably. If he knew what a rainbow looked like.

It’s all beautiful and new and—he blinks, once, twice, thrice, and then he’s shouting like a maniac as his eyes desperately try to find who he saw before the colors came into his vision.

Run idiot, his brain shouts to his legs and before  Hendery knows it he’s sprinting down two flights of stairs and barrels out the door leading to the courtyard. It’s too late though, the small group is moving and seemingly get swallowed by the passing crowds of other students.  Hendery huffs as the last head he sees is full of white hair.

***

“So, let me get this straight,” Ten says slowly as he sets down his food, “you found your soulmate today and I had to sit through a boring lecture. The universe truly has it out for beautiful people.”

Hendery groans and lands his head on the table with a solid ‘ thunk ’. “Yeah, but then I lost them .”

He’s grateful that most of his friends had break around the same time, unfortunately it’s just on Wednesdays and today is a Tuesday. It’s unfortunate because Ten and  Sicheng are the only ones whose break periods line up with his and the duo are absolutely no help.  Don’t get him wrong, he loves the two dearly, but hell , he’d take  Yangyang’s help over theirs and that’s saying something.

“So, this is pink, yellow, red, green—oh, am I missing a color,”  Sicheng rambles as he scrambles to gather every colored highlighter in his backpack. Ten throws in a dismissive ‘blue’ which has  Sicheng nodding vigorously. “To bad Kun isn’t here right now! He’ll be so upset.” 

Hendery watches as  Sicheng’s face twists into a subtle smirk that has him thinking that  Sicheng isn’t too torn up that Kun isn’t here. In fact, from the constant ‘ding’ of his phone he thinks that the taller man already sent a message through their group chat.

When he pulls out his white phone—huh? It was always white; how boring— Hendery finds that in fact  Sicheng did text the group. Lucas’ texts are just a serious of exclamation marks and  Yangyang is talking in all caps. The messages get eaten up by new ones too quickly for him to focus though. “Guys, I’m happy I can see color and all but aren’t we forgetting something...”  Hendery trails off as he watches  Sicheng type on his phone. He turns to Ten who just smiles impishly, usually when there’s a nefarious scheme  cookign in his brain.

Hendery stabs a piece of broccoli and decides right now he hates seeing colors.

***

It takes later that night for  Hendery to have the guts to call his parents up and tell them about his soulmate. The phone rings a few times—odd, considering his mother always picks up on the first ring—before a voice that is definitely not his mother comes through the speaker. It’s his sister; he blanches. So yeah, a simple phone call turns into a  two-hour family affair. His sisters talk over each other as his father laughs in the background. Eventually, the dreaded question comes up.

“Who is lucky enough for our little  Guanheng ?” His mother coos into the phone.

Hendery gulps. He knows that no one in his family would be upset that he lost his soulmate, but he can already hear the pity in their voices. He hated it when they felt bad because he couldn’t see colors (all of his sisters lucky enough to have meet their soulmate during their teens) and to finally see them now but not know who it is? Oof.

“Oh, um, you know. They didn’t notice me and I freaked out and ran away.” Okay, so he’s going with a total lie, cool brain. “It’s a big university though, I don’t know how long it’ll be before I see them again.”

“Oh  Hendery ,” his eldest sister starts, “you can do it! You’re the most confident person in the family. Even if you make a total fool of-”

“I think your sister meant,” his father’s voice interrupts, “is that you’ll be okay. You have my genes  afterall .”

Hendery laughs and he thinks that yeah, maybe things will be alright. When the call finally ends, he tosses his phone onto his bed. Then, he takes a real good look at his bed. What the fuck? Was his roommate ever going to tell him that none of his sheets matched? Well, this just won’t do.  Hendery considers himself a fairly put together person fashion wise (mostly thanks to his sisters helping him choose clothes) and he refuses to sleep with a bright green comforter and ugly, orange bedsheets. This is indeed the most pressing matter right now, definitely not that history of theatre paper he still has yet to make a rough draft of. Nope, how can he do homework when his personal space is a mess?

So, that’s how  Hendery spends the rest of his night, taking off his bedsheets and crumpling them into a messy pile on his side of the room. When his roommate comes back from what he can only assume another college party he stands there for a few, quiet seconds, before asking, “We don’t have bugs in here do we?”

“ah,  Jaehyun-hyung , I can finally see color,”  Hendery declares as he viciously throws a pillow sheet behind him, “when were you going to tell me everything on my bed looks hideous?”

Jaehyun , who  Hendery notices has the deepest shade of blue hair, opens his mouth before snapping it shut. It’s weird to finally see in color, mainly because  Hendery always thought people would have different colored skin like purple. He’s also the slightest bit disappointed that he has boring, black hair like most people at the university. The urge to be dramatic and different screams ‘let me out’ but luckily all of his  braincells are deaf.  Hendery patiently waits as his eyes trail down to his roommates soulmate tattoo. One of the most common forms of soulmate markers, he knows this after binge reading every soulmate study on a very slow Friday night, is a tattoo that is identical with your soulmate. Of course, there are a lot of variations of it. Sometimes the tattoo is in half and when the soulmates come together it’s complete.

Jaehyun just blinks slowly before he finally shrugs. “Honestly, I just thought you were like that.”

Okay, just because he’s a drama major doesn’t mean he likes to sleep in a rainbow! Although...no, rainbow bed later. “Well, I’m not. I like to give people a surprise; I don’t like to advertise how big of a walking disaster I am.”  Hendery chuckles good naturedly.

“Oh shit, dude, that means you found your soulmate!”

A bit slow on the uptake,  Hendery thinks, which probably means  Jaehyun’s been drinking a tad bit too much. “Shit, bro, my bad. Hey, why don’t we get you some new sheets. On me, as a sort of congratulations.”  Jaehyun finishes with a giant smile as he’s already heading towards the door. And, well,  Hendery can never say no to free stuff. He always been taught it’s rude to look a gift horse in the mouth.

***

“ Hendery , baby, I have the perfect idea for your dilemma!”

“Ten- ge , it’s like...two in the morning. Couldn’t this have been a group text—or better yet an e-mail?”

“Oh please, you usually stay up until four. Don’t give me that.”

“Not anymore! This semester I’m trying to be a good student!”

“Do you want to hear my plan or what, brat?”

“Is it Kun approved?”

“What? No, I didn’t run it by him.”

“Night Ten- ge ! See you tomorrow!”

***

Living in a life with colors is actually quite nice now that  Hendery isn’t too depressed about not knowing his soulmate. It only took a few days and sleeping on nice Egyptian-cotton bedsheets courtesy of  Jaehyun to really put things into perspective.  Hendery is, dare he say it, well rested in what feels like forever. As he packs his stuff into his backpack and is about to head out the door, a vaguely familiar boy blocks his path.  Hendery notes his eyes are the lightest shade of brown he’s seen so far and it reminds him of the squirrel who almost attacked him this morning. He tries not to wince at the memory.

“You’re  Hendery , right,” the shorter male asks tentatively, “um, I hear you’re looking for your soulmate and I happened to be there...”  Hendery’s brain stops listening after that. His mouth hangs open before he quickly grabs the guy by his shoulders and starts gently shaking.

“Where did you hear that! Was it some guy that has a number for a name? Is it Ten? Because I don’t know what he-”

The boy quickly cuts  Hendery off with a furious shake of his head. “N-No! Nothing like that. It’s just posted on the student communication tab.” The guy quickly takes out his phone and opens up the website.  Hendery’s never paid it much attention but he hears it’s similar to  Reddit where you can make threads and posts, just a general place to get help and interact with others if you have social anxiety.  Hendery’s never been on because he has the opposite problem, if he doesn't interact with others in person he will literally lose his mind.

“ ‘Missed connection. Saw you out in the courtyard last Tuesday at one. If you saw me that day I might be your soulmate  hmu .’”  Hendery reads out loud and attached to the bottom of the post is his full name and student ID picture. It’s when he made the mistake of curling his dark-brown hair. He doesn’t look awful  perse , but he definitely looks more mature with not poodle hair.

“It’s one of the most  upvoted posts lately and-” before the boy can finish talking  Hendery darts out of the classroom and makes his way to the dance studio. Head empty, no plan except for tracking Ten down and fighting him. He’ll probably lose because Ten is fast and scrappy whereas  Hendery is a theatre major who's only fought in video games. The one major problem with  Hendery’s plan though, is that apparently everyone wants a piece of him. As he exits the fine arts building and crosses the patio to the performing arts area, a few people seem to notice and start to follow.

Soon enough, however; a few turns into a lot and suddenly  Hendery has an entourage screaming after him. He curses Ten’s name and sprints for the second time in his life into the building. The crowds still following him though and  Hendery’s brain works on overdrive as he manages to catch a crooked door leading to a small practice room. It’s usually reserved for seniors to practice alone but desperate times call for desperate measures. Flinging himself into the room, he quickly slams it shut and locks the door before he slides down. He only truly relaxes when the crowd of footsteps pass by and the noise quickly fades.

“Umm, can I help you?”

Hendery jumps at the sudden noise as he head snaps to look up. There, seated on a lone chair with fingers splayed against piano keys, is probably the most beautiful guy  Hendery’s seen. He feels his cheeks warm up slightly as the boy keeps looking at him expectantly.

“Hi,” he jumps up and sticks out his hand to the seated guy, “sorry. I’m  Kunhang but everyone calls me  Hendery . Hope I didn’t interrupt it was a matter of life or death,” he finishes with a  squeaky that makes his soul cringe. The handsome stranger just laughs though and takes  Hendery’s hand into his soft one.

“Xiao Dejun, but you can call me Xiaojun. Nice to meet you.”  Hendery tries not to whine at the loss of contact because how creepy would that be? Instead, he keeps a dazzling smile on as Dejun—Xiaojun—stands up.  Hendery doesn't know why but there’s a tingling sensation in his stomach when he realizes that Xiaojun is smaller than him. He watches as the guy goes up to the door and peeks his head of pink hear out before shutting it again.

“Well, looks like it’s clear for you out there,”  Xiaojun grins and oh god, what guy has eyebrows that good? “Hello? Earth to  Hendery ,”  Xiaojun sings as he waves a pale hand in front of  Hendery’s face. He blinks a few times before shaking his head.  Xiaojun just seems to smile though and stands awkwardly, hands clasped in front of him as if he’s waiting for something. Probably for you to leave,  Hendery’s brain supplies helpfully. His feet seem to be particularly fond of this spot though as they don’t bother to move.

“Is your hair naturally like that,”  Hendery blurts, slapping a hand to his mouth a moment to late.

Xiaojun blinks a few times before letting out a large smile. It shows off a row of slightly crooked teeth and the fluorescent light of the room carve deep shadows around his rounded cheekbones. Probably not your soulmate, his brain whispers to him annoyingly. But that’s okay, there’s no harm in just admiring someone.  Hendery’s confident enough in himself to not completely lose it over a stranger—maybe. “You’re not serious, are you,”  Xiaojun questions after calming himself down, his hands fanning his reddened face t hat m atch his light red hair.

Hendery chuckles too even though he’s not sure what’s so funny. “Totally am! Sorry, it’s just,” he takes a moment to lick his suddenly dry lips, “I just saw color recently. Whole soulmate thing but I always expected people’s hair to look more...colorful?”

Xiaojun lets out the tiniest ‘ah’ as his eyes seem to twinkle with amusement. “That must be fun. Sorry to burst your bubble, but no this isn’t my natural hair color,” he giggles again in a way that has his eyes crinkling, “do you know what the colors called?”

“Umm,”  Hendery racks his brain as he thinks of  Sicheng’s stupid highlighters. He doesn’t quite remember a shade like  Xiaojun’s hair though. “Light red?”

“Yeah,”  Xiaojun says with an encouraging nod, “but it’s also called pink.”

“Pink,”  Hendery repeats as he feels his smile grow even larger to the point that it hurts his face, “That might just be my  favourite color!”

***

“ Soooo ,”  Yangyang starts slowly as he leaves the auditorium with  Hendery in tow, “let me get this straight. You not only met your soulmate but also a really cute guy within a week, and you lose both of them. And I’m stuck doing stupid research projects and sitting through your terrible play!”  Yangyang whines as he furiously shakes  Hendery’s arm back and forth.

“I’m totally fine by the way, thanks for asking,”  Hendery grunts as he pushes  Yangyang off of him. He doesn’t need to be reminded about his terrible luck all the time. Sure, sometimes so he can humble himself from how awesome his life is, but right now if someone else mentions soulmates around him he might just have to stab a bi-

“Oh,  Hendery , wait up,” a voice breaks through his thoughts.  Hendery’s never been the most popular, that title goes to Ten, having connections as intricate as a spider’s web, but people know of  Hendery . Whether they think he’s okay or not isn’t really his concern, not many people can take drama majors except other drama majors. However, since Ten’s advertisement, he’s collected quite a group of followers.  Hendery turns and immediately blanches at the numerous bodies advancing to him.

Ah fuck, there’s no way  Yangyang’s tiny body would be able to fend all of them off. If you can’t use your younger friends as a human shield what’s the point? “Run, idiot,”  Yangyang offers with a cackle and that’s all the youngest needs to say before  Hendery makes a break for it.

He weaves in and out of passing by students, some—understandably—cursing at him as he pushes people away. It’s his life on the line though! Hair flying wildly around his face as his backpack thuds against him,  Hendery realizes that maybe he should take a gym class next semester. He’s only ran twice in the past two years of his life, the first time he got hounded and currently now. Think, think, his brain screams while all of his  braincells scramble. Eventually, they come together to form one okay- ish thought; hide in the restroom. Banking a left down the hall and ducking into the men’s bathroom,  Hendery becomes momentarily stunned.

“Pink haired guy,” he blurts as he feels his face flush, “I mean, umm. Fuck, sorry don’t tell me.”

Pink haired guy, surprisingly, doesn’t look offended that  Hendery forgot his name and just calmly goes to wash his hands. By the time the other boy is done drying them  Hendery lets out a giant “Aha! Xiaojun, right!”

Xiaojun’s face falls into the slightest frown as he holds his hand to his heart. “ Hendery .” oh god  Xiaojun remembered his name, now he feels like an absolute ass. “My name isn’t  Xiaojun -”

“Oh god, I’m so sorry I thought it was and,”  Hendery interjects as his skin bursts into flames. He wishes it was literally because the sweet embrace of death would be a lot better than this awkward situation. “It’s just I’m bad with names. Wait,”  Hender squints at the shorter boy. The guy sure is happy considering the situation and why are his shoulders shaking?

“You jerk,”  Hendery hisses before a playful smile makes its way onto his face, “you really had me going there for a second. You’re not secretly a drama major, are you?”

Xiaojun’s grin widens as he shakes his head no, pink hair falling effortlessly back into place. “Nope, music major through and through. Now, mind telling me why you ran in here or did you just really have to pee?”

“Ugh, soulmate problems. My friend put out a missed connection for me and now tons of people think I could be their possible soulmate.”

Xiaojun hums thoughtfully as he tilts his head. The fluorescent lights of the bathroom bathe his hair in a bluer undertone creating an almost purple color.  Hendery tries his best not to stare, transfixed at the soft looking locks, but as the seconds tick by it becomes increasingly difficult. He doesn’t understand why  Xiaojun always takes his attention despite this being their second meeting.  Hendery just feels compelled to admire the guy’s face; how sharp his jawline is and how perfect his cheekbones are, and possibly the strongest eyebrow game he’s ever seen.

“Well, I can’t understand the soulmate thing but it sounds tough,”  Xiaojun finally voices with a small nod, “if you need to hide, I hear the computer science area is pretty dead.”  Hendery tucks away the odd comment. He doesn’t really know  Xiaojun well enough to just go asking.

“Don’t you mean quiet?”

“Nope, if you saw those students you would think they were ghosts to.”

“So, um,”  Hendery peeks his head out the door to see if the coast is clear before returning back to  Xiaojun , “I’ll see you later I guess?”

Xiaojun grins all bright again and if  Hendery keeps studying his face so intently he might have to compose a poem or some shit about the guy, just out of respect for his looks than anything else.

“Hopefully not in a bathroom again.”

***

Like any good student,  Hendery gives 200%. 100 of which is divvied up between five days (Friday night gets a majority of it) and the remaining energy goes into hanging out during the weekend with his friends. He never said he used all two-hundred-percent wisely and he gets good enough grades so he deserves to get black-out drunk sometimes.

Unfortunately, being one of the youngest  Hendery is also tasked with doing beer runs whenever Ten doesn’t have the time (which he has plenty of he’s just lazy) to restock on alcohol for the weekend get  togethers .

“Technically, it isn’t the weekend yet,”  Sicheng adds unhelpfully as he grabs the last beer in the fridge. No one argues because they all love  Sicheng , no questions asked.

“Can’t  Yangyang go do it instead! He’s technically the youngest here,”  Hendery argues as he waves over to said guy currently spread eagle on the floor. Ten just tuts and wags a finger though. It’s no use arguing, especially when Ten is the one paying for the alcohol, but still this is blatant favoritism and last time he checked this was a democracy not a dictatorship! “Can’t we just vote for who goes,”  Hendery whines again as he gives the best puppy-dog eyes he can to Kun. Kun, like the saint he is, just sighs before shouting ‘raise your hand if you want  Hendery to go’.

Everyone’s hand raises—okay understandable.

“Wait,” Lucas says with a giant laugh, “ Dery why did you raise your own hand.”

He gives the giant man a shrug as he snatches Ten’s money out of his hand. “It was a pretty predictable outcome, and I always back the winning side,” he finishes with a prideful grin that has everyone in the near vicinity rolling their eyes. He swears he hears  Yangyang yell ‘ eyeroll ’ from the floor as he leaves the apartment.

The nice thing about Ten and  Sicheng’s apartment compared to a dorm is that it’s really close to a convenience store. Also, it’s an apartment so everything about it is better than living in a tiny dorm. He’s a few seconds from entering the store before he spots a familiar head of pink hair loitering around the entrance.

“ Xiaojun ,”  Hendery shouts as he jogs up to the smaller man, “what are you doing?”

Xiaojun runs a hand through his pink hair. Not to have a repeat performance of the last time they met,  Hendery stares somewhere else. That somewhere else, however; just happens to be the  shorter’s collarbones. The baggy shirt on  Xiaojun’s frame billows slightly as a breeze passes by and coupled with the torn-up denim pants it looks like this is the first time he’s gone out in days. Although, the thought isn’t terribly unlikely.  Hendery recalls the time  Yangyang once spent five days straight in his dorm gaming, only coming out to use the bathroom like a gremlin.

“What are any of us really doing here,”  Xiaojun counters with an insufferable raise of his eyebrow that has no business looking like a model pose.

Hendery lets out a long agonizing groan. “Kidding!” The shorter adds with a giant smile,  “There’s a  photobooth here,”  Xiaojun states as he swings his plastic bag, “And the pictures always look so cute and retro but I don’t want to be a weirdo and take them alone. It would be like those people that go to movies alone or eat at restaurants alone; it’s sad.”

“Hey, I take offense to that! I would totally eat a restaurant alone if it means leaving my friends behind.”

Xiaojun laughs before he takes a hold of  Hendery’s hand and tugs him toward the  photobooth . “See, just sad. But since you’re here now I don’t have to take lonely photos.”  Hendery barely manages to close the curtain after them before  Xiaojun forces him to sit down. He feels like this should be way more awkward than it is considering he hardly knows  Xiaojun , but it oddly feels nice. He likes how their knees brush against each other in the cramped space despite how the grocery bag is poking his leg at weird angles.

“I’d like to say this is totally against my will,”  Hendery jokes as  Xiaojun sits back down. The latter just elbows him in the side though and laughs out a ‘look cute’ as the flashes start to go off.

Hendery being  Hendery pulls a few funny faces in the first few. A few piece signs here, a victory sign there, and then suddenly he finds himself laughing as he turns to look at  Xiaojun . The shorter man has his tongue sticking out winking in what may be a sexy pose but it has  Hendery in stitches.  Xiaojun turns to look at him, tongue still out, and they’re both cracking up. A flash goes off but  Hendery doesn’t pay it much attention as he nudges  Xiaojun who playfully pushes him back. They go back and forth a few times before finally  Xiaojun reaches up, and with some effort, angles himself so that he’s able to drape one arm across  Hendery’s shoulder.  Hendery watches  Xiaojun throw a peace sign to the camera before the final flash goes off and the machine spits out the tiny pictures.

“We look good,”  Xiaojun comments and  Hendery wonders if the small whispered out ‘together’ is just a part of his imagination or not. He doesn’t have time to think about it though as  Xiaojun is quickly handing over some of the copies into his hand. “I don’t need all of them, so you can take half.”

Hendery doesn’t have time to argue before  Xiaojun does a small bow and runs off in the direction of the university. Shaking his head,  Hendery gently place the pictures in his pocket before heading inside for the beer. Kun, his  favourite old man, doesn’t comment that the six-minute trip took almost fifteen but Ten sure does.

“I wanted to at least be tipsy by now,” the older male complains as he takes a bottle, “but thanks I guess.”

“Fine, see if I do anything for you again,”  Hendery retorts as he sticks his tongue out. He takes a seat beside Lucas who’s currently losing to  Yangyang at Mario Kart. It’s only a few beers into the evening that  Hendery realizes he never got to ask what  Xiaojun’s phone number was.

***

Because the universe hates  Hendery , the male forgets he had placed the pictures on his desk before going to bed and when he wakes up to the obnoxious chime of his alarm, he sees  Jaehyun lurking on his side of the room.  Hendery shouts because he’s not used to seeing  Jaehyun here still when he wakes up, but he really starts to panic about what’s in  Jaehyun’s hand.

He fumbles to get up, violently kicking the wrapped sheets around him. He doesn’t do a very good job of it though because when he tries to stand he just falls down. “God, I never believed falling out of bed and dying were true,” he grumbles as he finally manages to fling the sheets off of him.

When he finally stands up he snatches the photos out of  Jaehyun’s loose grip.

“ Sooo ,” his roommate starts with a quirked brow and a too mischievous of a grin, “who’s the guy.”

“It’s not what you’re thinking,”  Hendery starts, feeling the knowing heat of a blush start to spread across his face, “he’s a friend.”

Jaehyun’s eyebrows furrow as his dimples slowly disappear, “ A...friend,” he says slowly blinking more than necessary. Then, before  Hendery can argue any further,  Jaehyun just shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders. “If you say so bro.”

***

“I’m sorry  Tzuyu ,”  Hendery apologizes to the Taiwanese girl for the third time in the row. It’s not easy letting people down who are only searching for love. This is all Ten’s fault anyway for posting that stupid ad. 

Tzuyu shakes her head with a smile despite her glossed over eyes, “It’s okay,” and then she turns to leave with a shorter girl in tow. Groaning,  Hendery heads towards the usual meet up table in the dining hall, right between the salad bar (which he never uses because gross rabbit food) and the desert area. It’s the optimal meetup place because hardly anyone sits in the middle area; everyone mostly favoring the very front or by the exit. Ten manages to swipe a fry before  Hendery has a chance to set his backpack down.

“What number was that one,”  Sicheng asks as he sets his phone down.

“The second one this week,”  Hendery answers before his head turns to glare at Ten, “thanks to you I have to be a jerk and let everyone down.  Ughh , just take down the stupid post.”

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you want me to,” Ten argues back and when  Hendery is just a few centimeters shy of reaching the  older’s gaze Ten grins, “that’s what I thought. Listen,  Hendery baby,” a few more fries go missing from his tray, “I know what I’m doing. I’m a great matchmaker.”

Lucas chokes on his pudding; how he’s managed to make it to twenty is really amazing.  Sicheng pats the dying boy’s back a few times as  Yangyang cackles. Whether it’s because of Ten’s statement or Lucas  Hendery doesn’t know, but he also wouldn’t put it pass the younger to just find others misfortune funny—the little devil.

“Can’t you bother someone else with this Ten- ge , like  Yangyang .”

“He’s a baby-”

“He shaves,”  Sicheng interjects with a blank expression. “You’re the only one who treats him like a baby.”

“Because he is!”

“God, where is Kun- ge , I need an actual adult,”  Hendery groans ignoring Ten and  Sicheng’s indignant shouts.

“He had some mentoring stuff to do after class, he should be here soon,”  Yangyang pipes up as he steals the rest of  Hendery’s fries. Sighing, he takes a large bite into his burger and tries not to think about how much better it would be accompanied by salty fries. He needs new friends. “Oh, there he is. Ooh, with a stranger,”  Yangyang points his finger to the back exit of the dining hall.  Hendery lazily turns his head and almost chokes on his burger because holy shit that’s  Xiaojun ! He watches with growing interest as Kun talks with a giggling  Xiaojun . They pass through a particularly sunny spot and the light that filter’s through the large, window makes  Xiaojun look nothing less than ethereal. His hair practically glows and when their eyes meet  Hendery swears time slows down and all he can hear is a heavenly choir of angels.

A startling jab to his ribs causes  Hendery to hiss out and time goes back to normal. “Close your mouth you idiot,” Ten hisses. Blushing,  Hendery swallows his bite and tries to act natural as  Xiaojun comes closer. Oh god, why can he still hear the choir of angels, is he having a stroke?

“Man, those choir kids practice in the weirdest places,” Kun says as he ushers  Xiaojun to sit down. Unfortunately, the only other empty spot is next to  Yangyang .

“Wait, choir,”  Hendery parrots back as he looks around the area.

“Yeah, it was a giant group, surprised you didn’t notice,” Kun comments.

Lucas laughs, bright and jolly, as he nudges  Hendery’s side. “I think he was focused on something else.”  Hendery grins and kicks the brunette’s leg underneath the table. Is this what Jesus felt like when Judas betrayed him because damn, no need to call him out like that. “Anyways Kun- ge ,” Lucas starts completely unfazed by the kick to his shin, “are you going to introduce us to your new friend?”

“Oh, right, this is  Xiaojun .  Xiaojun , this is Ten,  Sicheng , Lucas,  Yanyang , and He-”

“ Hendery .”  Xiaojun says his name softly as he pins  Hendery with a gaze he can’t decipher. If  Hendery had to guess though it almost feels...fond. “We’ve met before,”  Xiaojun clarifies as numerous, curious gazes fall on him.

Kun sighs out ‘oh god’ the same time Ten hits him on the arm, looking absolutely betrayed. “ Hendery ! When were you going to tell us you met a cute boy!”

“Ow! We only met a couple of times, stop hitting me!”

Conversation flows fairly easy after that.  Hendery’s glad that everyone's has taken a liking to  Xiaojun , not that it’s hard.  Hendery took a liking to the shorter man after only one meeting and he knows that everyone else is just as smitten as he was. He watches in amusement as Ten tries to recruit  Xiaojun into a local dance team, only for Kun to get huffy because apparently  Xiaojun has an amazing gift for music and singing. Even  Sicheng adds to the conversation, although it’s not much. Usually an off-handed comment that has Lucas laughing like crazy or just reaction sounds. The only thing that bothers  Hendery is when  Yangyang slings an arm across  Xiaojun’s shoulder.

It doesn’t seem to affect Xiaojun in any way, but  Hendery’s eyes narrow slightly. He’s not a fan of feelings that are negative. He hates being sad, angry, and he hates jealousy;  so, when he feels his organs tie themselves into  knots, he just forces himself to smile more.

  
Thankfully, classes are about to start soon for a few of them. Lucas leaves first but not before shaking Xiaojun’s had aggressively and saying they should hang out again. Then Sicheng and Ten leave bickering about groceries like the domestic friend goals they are. “Oh, my class is about to start soon,” Xiaojun says as he throws away the rest of his food. Kun stands up as well as he helps hand Xiaojun his stuff. Hendery would be a little suspicious too about the gesture if he didn’t know Kun better. That’s how he acts with all of them, even Ten despite only being a few months older.

“Oh,”  Xiaojun turns on his heels and goes up to a confused  Hendery , “here’s my number. I’m hurt you didn’t ask for it yet so you better text me.” And just like that  Xiaojun walks away as a confused Kun trails after him.

“Well, well, well,”  Yangyang starts after a moment of silence, “that’s pink haired guy huh? Man, I have to say if you hadn’t seen him first.” The younger trails off but  Hendery knows the implication and he’s definitely glad he met  Xiaojun first. “Although, I think he likes you more anyway.”

Hendery bites the inside of his cheek as he stares at the torn piece of paper in his hands. He feels like he’s back in  highschool again, passing notes and phone numbers to crushes in class. “Do you really think he likes me?”

Yangyang snorts, “It’s a good thing you’re pretty because you sure are dense.”

***

‘Hey this is  Hendery . Adding you to our  groupchat if that’s okay?’

‘hey  hendery !! using proper punctuation and capitalization wouldn’t expect that from you lol’

‘I’m filled with many mysteries ;) '

***

With the first month quickly wrapping up,  Hendery gets swept away in a life of deadlines, papers, and practice for the end of the semester play. It turns out to be a murder-mystery to help the audience engage more;  Hendery’s just thankful it’s not another romance. Unfortunately, a busy schedule means less time to hang out with everyone. The last time he saw everyone gathered together was a week ago. The same week  Xiaojun changed his bubble-gum pink (a shade he knows by heart now) hair to a deep mahogany to better match ‘the seasonal mood’.  Hendery remembers thinking how nice it looked on him—how every color would probably look on him.

Out of everyone, he keeps in contact with  Xiaojun the most still. They grab lunch together Mondays and Wednesdays and they gossip about the group. Friday get  togethers are starting to dwindle to every other Friday now, much like last semester.  Hendery tries really hard to not think how this semester is Kun and Ten’s last semester before they get their Bachelors. Neither of the two have mentioned it but a Master’s degree is beyond the horizon and  Hendery doubts Kun will stay here to get it. And then Ten, like the wildfire he is, will most likely try and job hunt and start his own studio. Vaguely,  Hendery recalls the Thai male saying he might go back home.

Hendery groans as he tries to force the negative thoughts out of his head. He would bash his head into the nearest surface if he could without alarming anyone. Practice is rough for the play. Oddly enough, its awkward trying to get into the mindset of being evil enough to kill the other actors. Next time they do a play,  Hendery is definitely petitioning for a comedy.

“I think you did a good job,”  Xiaojun says in that warm, comforting tone of his as he gently pats the brooding brunette’s back.

Yangyang , who is on the other side of  Hendery , nods vigorously too as he stares down at his phone. He doesn’t know how the kid does it, but  Yangyang manages to dodge everyone in his path and even that weird step that literally makes everyone else trip without tearing his eyes away from his phone. “ Hendery did great, right  Yangyang ,”  Xiaojun stresses out as he switches to  Yangyang’s side and pokes the youngest in the back.

“Huh? Oh, right. Yeah stop worrying man,”  Yangyang says and it definitely would’ve felt more genuine if the guy had at least looked at him.

“What’s so important on your phone anyways. I thought you were here for emotion support,”  Hendery grouses as they make their way onto the grassy courtyard.

“I’m here for witty comebacks and banter, that’s why I brought  Xiaojun . Also, this Friday Ten and  Sicheng say they’re free. You want spicy or fried chicken?”

“We’re meeting Friday? Why does no one tell me these things,”  Hendery groans dramatically as he gives up on walking and falls onto the grass. It would be a lot weirder if there currently weren’t fifteen other students laying down as well. Ah, college life, what's he paying this money for anyway when he can live as a vagabond and harvest fruit and nuts in the wild?  Hendery , befriender of bunnies and chaser of squirrels.  Yangyang follows suit, not as dramatically, but lays down nonetheless. 

  
Judging by the heavy dark-circles around the youngers eyes he needs a break and then some.

“It’s because you never look at the  groupchat ,”  Xiaojun chastises as he plops himself onto the ground, legs tucked underneath him.

“ Riiiight , my bad. What would I do without you guys.”

“Probably die,”  Xiaojun jokes.

“Okay, didn’t need to answer that but yes. I’d probably die or go crazy and become a mountain man. You guys are my rock,”  Hendery finishes as he dramatically clutches his chest. He hears  Yangyang snort but doesn’t pay the goblin any attention as he focuses on  Xiaojun’s beautiful smile and the way it heats up his body against the cold grass.

“Yeah.”  Xiaojun hums as he brings his hand up to gently brushes away a few stray hairs on  Hendery’s forehead. If the man’s thin fingers linger for a little longer than necessary  Hendery doesn’t make a comment. Thankfully,  Yangyang doesn’t say anything either. “We’re your rock. Now, spicy or fried chicken?”

***

Hendery gets a text from  Yangyang at 2 in the morning. Because his sleep schedule is already fucked  Hendery is wide awake scrolling through Instagram.

‘Bro you're  wipped ’

‘*whipped’

‘your a real ass'

‘*you're’

Hendery grins in triumph when  Yangyang doesn’t text back. Its not the best victory nitpicking grammar but he'll take it.

“Whipped, yeah right,” he grumbles to himself as he likes a picture of Xiaojun from a few weeks ago.  Its when his hair was still pink and  hes holding some strangers dog. “ Cant a bro just appreciate when his friend looks good anymore.”

***

Hendery gets to  Sicheng and Ten’s apartment first because if he shares a room with  Jaehyun tapping his pencil constantly as he tries to study he might just commit murder. Upon entering, he’s slightly shocked to see the whole area decorated in a fall theme. There are tiny pumpkins on the kitchen table, orange and red leaves decorating the shelves and windowsill, and a way too early skeleton decal stuck on the window. Considering  Sicheng’s hatred of early seasonal decoration, it can only be Ten who decorated everything.  Hendery closes the door as he navigates his way to the couch.  Sicheng doesn’t even look up from his book to greet him.

“You’re here early.”

“Nice to see you to  Sicheng-ge ,”  Hendery hums as he leans against the slightly taller man, “I see you let Ten decorate.”  Hendery tries not to laugh at the older boy’s pinched expression but he fails miserably as Ten bursts out of his room with more fall decoration in hand.

“ Hendery ! You’re here early, help me hang these you.”

“You do know it isn’t even fall yet, right,”  Hendery asks but he grabs the decorations nonetheless. He busies himself fumbling with the Halloween stickers, trying to peel them off of the plastic backing as Ten places some candles down onto the living room table. Because he has no self-control,  Hendery uses all the tiny spiders and skeletons and places them randomly on the glass. The smiling skeleton is enough to cheer up  Hendery’s dour mood by tenfold. 

“Never  too late to get into the holiday spirit,” Ten nods solemnly as he snatches  Sicheng’s book out of his hands. “Had to do some convincing, but I’m cute so it’s not hard.”

“You are the literal devil,”  Sicheng grumbles as he stomps to the kitchen.  Hendery doesn’t miss the way the man’s lip twitches up the tiniest bit.

After border-line vandalizing the window,  Yangyang shows up with Kun in tow and at least five bags between them. They take various soda, beer, and small snacks out of them as  Sicheng busies himself ordering the chicken and noodles. As everything is done getting set and the fine dining plates (I.e. paper plates) get set out Lucas comes barging in with a gigantic grin. It only grows wider as he takes a look at all the decorations.

“It looks cozy in here!”

“It looks like Autumn threw up in here,”  Yangyang retorts with a slight scoff as he starts fiddling with one of the plastic pumpkins. 

“Where’s  Xiaojun ?”

Kun responds, “Might be late,” as he grabs a cup and starts to fill it up with sprite. Just as  Hendery’s about to text  Xiaojun , a knock comes from the door. Bolting to grab it, he opens it with a large smile only for it to drop as he sees the look on  Xiaojun’s face. His usually tidy hair is all over the place, large glasses only amplifying his puffy eyes and the smile on his face doesn’t quite reach his eyes. The worst part though, in  Hendery’s opinion, is how it looks like the shorter man has been crying not long ago.  Xiaojun’s usually bright gaze is slightly glazed over and the whites of his eyes are slightly red.

Xiaojun fiddles with the sleeves of his baggy sweater, the lightest shade of pink that reminds  Hendery of the man’s past hair color. “Can I come in?”

“O-Oh, um, yeah,” stepping aside,  Hendery closes the door after  Xiaojun . The worry in everyone's eyes is apparent as he greets everyone. Luckily, Kun is fast enough to usher the younger away from the curious eyes and into the living room. Ten seems torn on following as well but eventually settles on staying put.

“Do you know what happened,”  Yangyang whispers to him to which  Hendery shakes his head no.

“I wish though.”

***

It’s not  Hendery’s intention to sleepover, but it just kind of happens.  Sicheng and Ten are tucked away in their respective rooms,  Yangyang and Kun share the couch, which leaves the floor to him, Lucas, and  Xiaojun . When  Hendery wakes up with a small groan, he squints through the darkness to see that the kitchen light is on.  Hendery momentarily debates about moving as Lucas has a leg flung over him, but thankfully the giant turns on his own. Rubbing his eyes,  Hendery makes his way to the kitchen only to stub his toe on the way.

He hisses as quietly as he can but it’s not quite enough as  Xiaojun’s head pokes out, brows furrowed and eyes impossibly irritated. And shit, were those small sniffles  Hendery heard? Forgetting about his possibly broken toe, he manages to hobble his way over to the kitchen with minimal creaking of the subpar flooring.

“ Xiaojun ,” he starts with a small yawn, “what are you doing up? And have you been crying? Are you okay?”

Xiaojun takes a minute to steady himself as he places a glass of water down.  Hendery watches the gentle rise and fall of his sweater. “Yeah, it’s just stress I guess,” Xiaojun eventually says, voice breaking ever so slightly near the end.  Hendery just wants to go over and wrap the smaller man in a tight hug, but the fear of rejection stops him from moving any closer. Xiaojun clears his throat slightly as he starts again. “I’m supposed to compose a song, it’s a big part of our grade but I haven’t even started.” Thin fingers pull at the sleeves of the crumpled sweater. “I just...it's stupid but I always get sadder around Autumn. I always see happy couples more and stuff. It just reminds me about how I’m still alone...” Xiaojun’s voice trails off as tears start to form at the corner of his eyes. 

Unable to watch anymore,  Hendery takes a tentative step forward, just a hairs width away from having Xiaojun in his arms, and slowly reaches his hand out to brush away the tears threatening to spill. As  Hendery gently wipes away the tear, Xiaojun continues, almost sighing into the touch. “I know it’s an irrational fear but I’m afraid I won’t find love itself. It’s stupid but...I just don’t want to be alone.”

“Well, you have a soulmate marker don’t you? So there has to be someone out there for you.”

Xiaojun gently touches  Hendery’s hand, threading their fingers together as he  gently pries  it off of his face. Briefly, their hands fall together, swaying between them in a loose grip.

“Oh  Hendery , I don't have a soulmate marker.”

Hendery wants to say that soulmate markers don’t matter. That love will find  Xiaojun no matter what because  Xiaojun is such an amazing person worth loving and anyone who doesn’t is an idiot. But in that instance—for once in his life— Hendery is left speechless. Later he’ll realize all of the comforting words he could have said, that  Xiaojun is surrounded by people that love and care for him already, but for now he just holds the smaller man’s hand in a tight embrace and quietly leads  Xiaojun back to the blanketed floor. Wordlessly, he ushers  Xiaojun to lay down beside him and not surprisingly the older doesn’t put up a fight.

Xiaojun curls into himself as  Hendery pulls the thick blanket over them. There, they lay face-to-face, and  Hendery’s truly able to take a moment and appreciate the  Xiaojun’s ethereal beauty. How the moonlight falling through the curtains illuminate his eyes and cast a soft shadow along his cheekbones. The longer he stares the more  Hendery swears there are actual galaxies swirling in  Xiaojun’s dark eyes.

“You’re beautiful,”  Hendery finds himself mumbling into the dark, barely loud enough for  Xiaojun to hear, “and kind and amazing. It’d be a crime,” he breathes out before slowly linking their fingers together, “for the universe to let you be alone if you don’t want to be.”

Hendery watches as  Xiaojun’s tongue sweeps across his lips leaving a shiny trail in its wake. Despite the darkness, he can see the faint hint of a blush dusting across the shorter male’s cheeks and  Hendery feels something inside of him stir. Was this feeling always there, he wonders?

“Thank you,  Kunhang .”

A genuine smile pulls at  Xiaojun’s face before the male shuts his eyes, curling ever so slightly closer to  Hendery .

When they wake up the following morning, practically tangled in each other's embrace, everyone has the good grace to not say anything. And seeing  Xiaojun’s messy hair and raspy voice in the morning has  Hendery thinking he wouldn’t mind seeing it everyday.

***

Because the universe works on balance, all good periods must come to an end. More tests loom over  Hendery and the new tension between him and  Xiaojun is almost  unbearble . There’s something in the air between them that he can’t quite name but it feels a lot like love, but  Xiaojun isn’t his.  Hendery has to remind himself of this daily whenever his heart flutters from a text, or a silly picture sent to the  groupchat . Only Kun had the courage to bring it up once during their little sleepover a few weeks ago, but it never went anywhere.

(“He isn’t my soulmate,  gege .”

“ Hendery , I love you but god you make it difficult.”)

Things change drastically though when a slender woman approaches him after theatre class. Her hair is long and silver and it reminds  Hendery of that fateful day when he could finally see in color. And down on her wrist, he watches as an ink timer on her wrist counts down its final digit to zero. The surprised look on her face matches  Hendery’s own.

“I just wanted to ask if auditions were still open,” he hears her mumble.

From beside him,  Hendery hears  Yangyang’s sharp voice and the sound of frantic footsteps. He watches as the younger boy chases after a running  Xiaojun . Run, his heart beats against his ribcage but his feet feel like lead. He breaths in deeply, turns to  Elkie , and decides that right now the universe is a cruel, confusing mistress.

“I guess we’re soulmates,” she starts off slowly and the contorted look on her face isn’t quite what  Hendery had in mind when he finally met his soulmate. In fact, he has to mentally smooth out his own face as he tries his best to smile. “Well then, I’m  Elkie , nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you to, I guess we have a lot to talk about?”

Elkie laughs and it’s soft and clear. It’s a beautiful laugh to match an already angelic appearance and by all means  Hendery should find it attractive. He does have eyes, but somehow it doesn’t feel right.  Licking his lips, he nods his head in agreement. “Yeah, I guess we do.”

***

“ Yangyang told me you found your soulmate. Don’t even try to lie to me.”

“Did you really have to call me just for this?”

“Are you dating her now?”

“I’m not, I’m not sure what I want to do.”

“ Hendery , I love you. I really do. So if you need advice I’m here.”

“Wow, Ten thanks I-”

“But if you don’t stop ignoring  Xiaojun I will break your kneecaps.”

“Dually noted. Bye Ten- ge .”

***

Hendery sighs as he throws his phone onto his bed before throwing himself down. For the umpteenth time this week he’s ignored all the flooding texts. For the first day or two everyone had tried to contact him after his talk with  Elkie , but slowly the texts and calls came less and less. It’s only a matter of time before he’s just completely removed from the  groupchat because that’s what he deserves. He’s being a terrible friend and if he misses another Friday get together Ten might just make good on his promise and steal his kneecaps. He greatly enjoys his kneecaps; they help him walk. But in order to keep them he has to face all of them. Worst of all, he’d have to face  Xiaojun .  Xiaojun , who has the utmost patience of an angel and the voice of a siren, the only person who hasn’t texted him since that fateful day.

Closing his eyes,  Hendery thinks back to his conversation with  Elkie . It was a drawn out meeting that was more awkward than  Hendery would have liked.  Elkie is beautiful and mature and she understands Mandarin. She has flawless skin and a goofy streak. The thing about  Elkie though, is that whenever  Hendery thinks of that silver hair that fateful day it quickly morphs to pink. Pink, the color of  Xiaojun’s hair when they first met; pink,  Hendery’s favourite color. But the universe paired him and  Elkie together for a reason, right? Soulmates are perfect together in every way. This is what he’s always wanted—and yet.

“Okay, I’ve been gone for like three hours and you’re still in the same position I found you in,”  Jaehyun’s voice interrupts his thoughts, “what gives man?”  Hendery doesn’t acknowledge the elder’s presence, choosing to just burry his head into his pillow more but he feels the bed dip down beside him anyway.

“I bet there’s a  Hendery -sized indent you left,”  Jaehyun comments.

“I got up to pee,”  Hendery grunts as he slowly rolls onto his back to stare at the boring, beige ceiling of the dorm.

A small silence encompasses them. The silence is a lot like  Jaehyun’s presence; slightly awkward and something that's really hard to ignore. But there’s a certain ‘vibe’ that  Jaehyun gives off that  Hendery never feels pressured to explain himself right away. He’s not demanding like Ten or over-bearing like Kun.  Jaehyun doesn’t really pry. Sure, there are a few questions but if  Hendery doesn’t feel like talking the older man will stop. Sometimes he isn’t sure if it’s because of a lack of interest or just because  Jaehyun’s nice like that. Judging by the fact the older man hasn’t gotten off of his bed yet though,  Hendery thinks it’s the latter.

Eventually, the silence becomes too much and  Hendery forces out a vague ‘soulmate issues’ and leaves it at that.

If  Jaehyun’s surprised it doesn’t show. Instead, the pale man’s lips turn slightly downward and his blank expression turns equal parts curious and sullen. The man opens his mouth—handsome even while looking like a gaping fish—before he presses his lips into a thin line.  Hendery watches in slight curiosity as a range of emotions come and go through  Jaehyun’s eyes. After a semester with rooming with him,  Hendery likes to think of himself as an expert ‘ Jaehyun whisperer’ but there are still moments where he isn’t sure what the man is thinking. Considering he’s constantly surrounded by people who wear their heart on their sleeves though, it shouldn’t be that much of a surprise that  Hendery isn’t really good at reading more subtle expressions. There’s something there though, with how  Jaehyun’s eyebrows slightly pinch to his downturned eyes—and then it hits.

Jaehyun , in all of his infinite wisdom of what wines pair best with what foods and charming people’s socks off, has never had soulmate issues. He remembers countless nights of  Jaehyun drunk rambling about how amazing his soulmate is, how lucky he is to have found him, other disgustingly cute  cliches that belong on a Lifetime channel. And if this was any other day  Hendery wouldn’t be so salty about it but he’s been having a terrible week so there’s enough salt built up to rival McDonald’s fries.

“Sorry,”  Jaehyun finally says, cheeks a light red, “I never really had soulmate problems.”

“Ugh, I know,”  Hendery grunts.

“But that doesn’t mean love comes easily,”  Jaehyun tacks on thoughtfully. “I was lucky with  Doyoung . I’ve never really been ‘in love’ with any relationship prior to him. He’s my first love and hopefully my last.” There’s a faraway look in  Jaehyun’s eyes as he says the last sentence.  Hendery barely catches the brunette man gently caressing his ring finger. “There are some days that are hard though. Love takes work—soulmate or not. There are some days that I know  Doyoung wants to strangle me, and some days it’s hard to even talk about certain stuff with him.”

“What about...”  Hendery gnaws on his lips as he sits up, “let’s say  Doyoung wasn’t your soulmate but you love him like you do now. But then you meet your actual soulmate. What would you do?”

Jaehyun cocks an eyebrow. “Is this a personal issue or someone you know?”

“Does it matter?”

“I guess not.”  Jaehyun strokes his chin thoughtfully. “Well, the way I see it I was fortunate enough to fall for my soulmate. But not everyone does, like for example Ten,”  Jaehyun spouts and just as quickly as he finishes a hand immediately flies over to his mouth. Ten,  Hendery thinks with furrowed brows. If there’s one thing that Ten’s fond of is oversharing his love life, but  Hendery thought for sure Ten’s boyfriend was his soulmate. He’s constantly calling  Taeyong ‘the one’ so he just assumed-

“A-Anyways, sorry if I’m not much help but if you ever need a  hyung to listen to your problems I’ll be here.”  Jaehyun finishes with an awkward pat on  Hendery’s knee that could rival a middle-aged father giving their son ‘the talk’ for the very first time. The only thing that’s missing is  Jaehyun calling him champ. Watching  Jaehyun walk back to his side of the room,  Hendery just sinks further into his bed as countless questions swirl in his head. Just how close are  Jaehyun and Ten? What did he mean that Ten isn’t with his soulmate? When did Ten even find his soulmate! And would Ten really break his kneecaps?

He supposes that those are stories for another day, but right now he feels worse than when he started his day. No offense to Jaehyun’s great advice.

Actually, scratch the last one,  Hendery knows for a fact Ten would definitely bodily harm him. In fact, with how fond Kun is of  Dejun as well, he wouldn’t be surprised if the eldest was also an accomplice.

Sliding his eyes shut, willing his brain to quiet down,  Hendery slips into a light dream of silver hair and  Xiaojun’s smile.

***

Hendery’s morning goes like this. He wakes up in the morning, eats a piece of toast slathered with jam, completes an essay within an hour like a madman (it’s at least a C; passing), continues to ignore the  groupchat , and binge watches feel-good  animes about friendship that only make him feel shittier. His self-pity party is—sadly—overrun by a very determined, and strong,  Jaehyun as the jerk essentially kicks him out of the dorm. So, he does the only logical thing and starts heading to the commons area to chill and be a Sad  Boi ™ on the couch. His social life is ruined, he’s no doubt kicked from the play because of missing so many rehearsals; so he might as well be a loser in public because none of it matters. Just as  Hendery’s entered the common area though, the front doors slide open and in steps  Xiaojun looking effortlessly handsome as usual. Quickly,  Hendery ducks behind a large potted plant as  Xiaojun stands by the stairs, head looking around curiously.

For a minute he thinks that maybe  Xiaojun saw him, but he breaths out a sigh of relief as the brunette just shrugs and starts walking.

It wasn’t  Hendery’s intention to follow the shorter boy. He really wanted to high-tail it the opposite direction but seeing Xiaojun’s face again has him completely entranced. He can’t stop staring at the ripped holes in Xiaojun’s jeans that show off his pale skin, or how the oversized sweater he’s wearing reminds  Hendery of his  favourite color. But he also follows out of  curiosity , not just because he’s a complete creeper.

Why is  Xiaojun in this dorm building? No one but  Hendery resides here in their little group. Is he seeing someone,  Hendery’s mind immediately supplies but he quickly pushes that aside if he wants to keep living. And why is he carrying a binder and books? Is it a study date? Did he borrow something and is just returning it? And why is  Xiaojun so clueless about being followed? If  Hendery was some kind of deranged psycho, he could have had ample opportunity to just kill the shorter student because of how oblivious he is. Seriously, at one point while walking up the stairs (also, who walks up the stairs instead of using the elevator?)  Hendery just stopped trying to keep his footsteps quiet.  Xiaojun didn’t even bother looking behind him.

Ducking behind another large, potted fern,  Hendery peeks between the large leaves as Xiaojun finally stops at a door. He watches with rapt attention as his fist knocks twice before the white door swings open. A student with wheat colored hair and a smile that just screams ‘ I'm a giant human puppy’ comes out. Small pleasantries are exchanged and  Hendery tries not to focus on his heart parkouring its way up to his throat. He tries to lean in more to make out what the duo are saying but just as quickly as they greeted each other they’re departing. 

Oddly enough, the two  bow to  each other before the door closes. Xiaojun swiftly turns on his heels, eyes surveying the area, before he starts walking down the hall.

Shit,  Hendery didn’t think this through. He can’t just start walking with his back facing Xiaojun because he’ll really seem like a creeper coming out from the plant. At the same time though, if he stays  crouched, he’ll definitely be caught red handed. Nibbling on his lip, his heartbeat speeds up as Xiaojun walks closer and closer to the plant until finally he’s just a few footsteps away.

But then he stops.

Hendery isn’t sure if he should let out a sigh of relief or not.

“ Hendery , I know you’ve been following me. Can we please talk?”

A few seconds pass before  Hendery decides to disentangle himself from the plant to face  Xiaojun . Or at least face the man’s shoes because he doesn’t have it in himself to meet the  shorter’s gaze. “H-Hey  Xiaojun . Um, sorry I was just curious where you were going and yeah...” Trailing off awkwardly,  Hendery chances a peek at  Xiaojun through his long hair. Despite the thick strands obscuring his view,  Xiaojun’s posture is just as immaculate as ever—head held high and back straight.

Xiaojun  lets out a laugh, short and rough, saying, “Most people would just ask instead of following someone. I came to drop off some stuff to Jaemin’s boyfriend since he’s sick and doesn’t want to get them sick either.”

“A-Ah, that’s a relief—I mean good! That  Jaemin is such a nice boyfriend and all,”  Hendery quickly amends as he finally meets  Xiaojun’s gaze. What he sees is probably the worst thing ever. Despite the smaller man’s calm demeanor, a storm of emotions stab through  Hendery’s heart as he desperately tries to identify all of them. The usual warm, rich brown tones almost look like a cold gray under the dormitory lighting. It’s unfamiliar territory and  Hendery isn’t sure how to continue.

Xiaojun looks away first, eyes seeming to focus on the elevator behind  Hendery’s head. “It’s nice seeing you. Everyone really misses you,” their eyes meet again and for a moment  Hendery’s mind fills in the long pause ‘especially me’ he imagines  Xiaojun’s heart whispering, “but...Ten told me you’re confused and—and you should take all the time you need to figure everything out.”

Despite the comforting words  Hendery’s heart sinks even more as  Xiaojun starts to walk again.  Hendery imagines if he was a braver man—a man who wasn’t worried about fate and destiny—he'd spin  Xiaojun around and hug him. He’d call out  Xiaojun’s name before he gets on the elevator; stop the doors closing with his hand and yank him into his embrace. But every time  Elkie’s hopeful face and kind eyes and silver hair pops up before he can move.

He watches as the metal doors close slowly,  Xiaojun’s gaze still trained on him before disappearing completely. He decides, in this instance, that he doesn’t deserve anyone.

***

A few uneventful days pass. Calls and messages come in less-and-less until  Hendery thinks that maybe they all gave up on him. It’s a lonely thought. He’s been having a lot of lonely thoughts. Currently, he’s trying to bring his grades back up before his parents come down and beat some sense into him. Instead of doing it at the dorm though where there’s too much distraction and not nearly enough ambient noise, he’s at the library like a good student. Well, an okay student since he’s only gotten one page of notes down despite being there for almost two hours now.

Groaning,  Hendery crosses his arms and uses them as a pillow. He watches as little dust particles illuminated by the nearby sunlight float lazily through the air. Ah, how envious he is of those tiny specks. He’s borderline almost in la-la land before the sound of a chair scrapping against the flooring wakes him up. Bolting upward, he’s about to yell at the intruder before his voice gets stuck in his throat.

Out of all the possible people he thought were going to confront him first, he never thought his soulmate would be the one to do it.

Elkie smiles, her hair practically sparkling under the sunlight as she reaches out a hand to hold  Hendery’s own. It’s a loose grip, hardly romantic but there’s something comforting and warm about it that has the tension in  Hendery’s shoulders easing up.

“ Hendery ,” she starts softly, her free hand tucking a strand of hair behind her  bejeweled ear, “you’ve been ignoring me. I know you needed some space, but it’s rather unfair to leave your soulmate in the dark; isn’t it?”

“I, ah, yeah, you got me there,”  Hender mumbles, squeezing her hand before letting go. “Sorry it’s just, I guess I feel conflicted still. I’ve always been surrounded by people who end up with their soulmates,” he starts off slowly. Despite just scratching his surface issues with  Jaehyun ,  Hendery’s never openly admitted as to why he’s having such a hard time in choosing  Elkie . He thinks about hi s paren ts who are soulmates, all of his sisters who have found their soulmates—in fact his entire extended family have ended up with their soulmates so far. “I always thought soulmates were perfect. That the universe picked out your perfect partner and that somehow you’d find them and you’d end up together forever. And I was so excited to find you, but then...”

Elkie smiles softly, “And then you did find me. But let me guess, you already found someone else.”

“Yeah,”  Hendery briefly closes his eyes and dots of pink invade his sight; he opens them slowly, “yeah I did. I always thought that when I met my soulmate that would be it. I would have no doubt that they would be the one for me. We’re supposed to be together but,”  Hendery vaguely gestures at the distance between them.

“But you don’t want to be,” Elkie finishes with a knowing smile and  Hendery thinks in another life he would have been absolutely smitten. Again, her hand reaches out to find his. “Hendery, it’s okay. People have multiple soulmates, you know? And while I can’t say I’m not sad, I understand. Have you told them yet?”

“I-no, I haven’t. I’ve, ugh, been kind of ghosting literally everyone,”  Hendery admits with a smile cringe realizing for the umpteenth time that he’s definitely not winning any ‘best-friend of the year’ award anytime soon. Elkie shakes her head and the silver strands of hair seem to almost float before going back into place. He really hopes Elkie ends up with someone good.

“That’s no way to treat someone you love,” she scolds lightly before flipping his books closed, giving him a pointed stare, “Well, what are you waiting for silly. Go, to them.”  Hendery doesn’t need to be told twice. He starts running out of the library, completely forgetting his books and backpack in the process, as his legs carry him on the other side of campus. His vans hit the pavement with hard  thunks that beat as loud as his heart. He barely manages to dodge other students—and their very colorful insults—and the odd squirrel or two that choose to cross his path.

His breaths come out in long labored puffs and his side starts to cramp. His body isn’t meant to run for so long, especially in a sprint, but he can’t wait to see Xiaojun’s face. He can’t wait to finally hug the man and apologize to him. To say all the  words he’s wanted to say since they met. And he really, really, wants to kiss him. Maybe even do that first.  Hendery has zero plan of action when he gets there but for  now he tries to focus on not dying from exercise. He makes a note to thank his parents for not making him short and giving him long legs (not as long as Lucas, but is anyone’s legs that long?). Wiping the small droplets of sweat away from his forehead,  Hendery runs even faster as he comes along the finishing stretch. He sees Xiaojun’s building just in sight and he barrels through the front door; all puffs and agonizing groans. He ignores the way students stare at him—some whispering—as his feet carry him to a familiar direction.

He has little time to think (when does he ever though) before his fist starts pounding on the door. There are hundreds of thoughts waiting to be heard but when Xiaojun opens the door,  Hendery’s brain shuts down. Because Xiaojun’s standing there, just arm's length away, all messy hair and pretty face that has  Hendery’s heart thudding out ‘soulmate’ and he just—cannot take it. And Xiaojun, the angel that he is, just silently steps aside in visible confusion to let  Hendery in. And in he goes, the door closing shortly behind him.

“ Hendery ...” Xiaojun says softly, voice raising slightly at the end in question. And, as if broken out of a spell,  Hendery’s brain suddenly catches up and goes into over-drive.

He studies Xiaojun’s voice as he says ‘It’s not Elkie’. He notes the way Xiaojun’s thick brows furrow slightly, forehead creasing before his features smooth out. He watches as the sunlight reflects off of Xiaojun’s deep eyes and a deep caramel color comes to life. Black pupils grow slightly and something akin to hope and despair in equal measures emerges. Xiaojun’s tongue darts out to wet his lips as he breaks the gaze first.

“What are you talking about  Hendery ? I was there, Elkie is your soulmate.”

“No, well, yes but,”  Hendery takes a step closer, “she isn’t the one. Soulmate or not, I shouldn’t be some slave to destiny. Dejun-” Xiaojun’s head perks up at hearing his real name. Wordlessly,  Hendery slots their hands together and squeezes. He tries to get all the thoughts he’s wanted to say since the day them met into that one squeeze, but it just isn’t enough. He wants to say it too; he needs to say it. “I am such an idiot. The first time I saw you there in the music room, you looked like you came right out of a romance anime. You are the most beautiful person on this campus but I was so obsessed with the idea of a soulmate that it never occurred to me that I didn’t  _ have  _ to be with my soulmate.”

Hendery watches as Xiaojun’s eyes shake, eyes uncertain but the grip on  Hendery’s own hand tightening. “Hendery,” he practically pleads, “what are you doing here?”

“Isn’t it obvious? One, to apologize, and two, confess that I’ve liked you since we met.”  Hendery chuckles weakly. “And I guess it never occurred to me that you could reject me and I probably deserve it after the stunt I pulled, but I just really like you Xiaojun. And I’ve been a complete ass about it.”

Tears finally spill out, the tiny droplets landing on top of  Hendery’s hand. As fast as they come though, Xiaojun wipes them away just as quickly. His eyes practically sparkle with joy and  Hendery thinks that maybe the older man is some heavenly being. “Oh  Hendery , you are year of the donkey,” Xiaojun giggles before pulling him into a tight embrace, “would explain your unbelievable thickheaded-ness,” he mumbles against the taller man’s shoulder.

“So, um, does that mean you like me to,”  Hendery questions as Xiaojun pulls away.

Xiaojun just rolls his eyes though and punches the man in the arm. “Yes, you jerk, I’ve liked you for so long now.  Yangyang says I should’ve just given up on you.”

“Yeah, sorry about that it’s just—Wait!  Yangyang knew before I did? Who else knew that you liked me?”

“Oh  Hendery ,” Xiaojun sighs as he leads the befuddled boy to the couch, “literally anyone with eyes. You’re the last one to know.”

“Oh...wow, that’s kind of...” trailing off,  Hendery just slumps against the couch as he stares off into the distance. To think, if he wasn’t such a clueless, overdramatic idiot, he could’ve been with Xiaojun a lot sooner. Also, he really needs to make some phone calls later because how dare his friends not tell him how much of a dumbass he is sometimes.

“But you’re here now, and I demand cuddles because Lucas hugs to hard,” Xiaojun huffs as he stretches himself across  Hendery’s torso.

It’s a quiet, few minutes with steady sounds of breathing filling the room. Hendery smiles, softly carding a hand through Xiaojun’s soft hair as his eyelids start to close. Is it weird to say that being with Xiaojun is the easiest thing in the world? Well, even if it is  Hendery won’t say it out loud; at least, not yet. And when he dreams later on a couch that’s less comfy than his own bed, a sturdy weight keeping him tied down, it’s of pink shapes and pretty smiles. It’s Xiaojun.


End file.
